Why Do I Feel Responsible for Everyone?
Does it often feel like nothing happens without you?
That you are the only one who can get things done?
Does any of this sound familiar?
You jump to it when anyone asks you where x,y,z is or
why x,y,z has or hasn’t happened yet.
You worry about everyone.
Carry everyone's emotions.
Put everyone else's needs first.
And you're exhausted.
There's a reason for that.
These are some signs this pattern is affecting you:
You struggle to say no; you feel like you can’t say no, or you shouldn’t.
You feel guilty or jittery about resting and often go way beyond exhaustion point.
Other people's moods affect yours.
You resonate with a strong drive to be the fixer - whether in relationships or situations.
You feel responsible for keeping the peace.
You carry emotional weight that isn't yours. Often including the blame.
You spend long hours counselling people with problems who often don’t take your advice, but keep coming back to you.
Fixing others first takes up the energy for your own dreams and goals; that’s self-sabotage.
Maybe it’s time to discover what drives you to take on every problem and give away your own freedom and resources without question?
Here are some unconscious reasons that might explain why you feel responsible for fixing every situation.
You grew up in a family where all the other ‘roles’ were taken, and perhaps you felt like you belonged through providing solutions and trying to demonstrate your love, and your worthiness to be loved, by giving to everyone, and meeting their needs.
At some point in the past, you formed a belief that other people deserved help more than you did. And you felt you always had to prove your lovability.
You learned early on that being needed and feeling useful was a semi-effective substitute for feeling truly loved and wanted.
You weigh your own self-esteem by what you believe someone else thinks of you. You believe someone else has to validate you. So you’re unconsciously always working on the principle of how to earn more external validation.
No-one seemed to notice you as a child, so you got noticed by being proactive, high-achieving, or ‘admirably’ independent.
Asking for help or what you needed seemed like weakness to you - or to someone you wanted to confide in.
Crucial adults in your young life put adult responsibilities on you - before you could emotionally cope with them.
As a result, your boundaries, your ability to say no, and your ability to weigh up what truly works well for you, were effectively trampled.
What happens when giving and doing becomes your life strategy?
You’re tired all the time, and you rarely just watch TV, enjoy a hobby, or take a nap without feeling guilty.
There’s never a good time to start that ‘thing’ you’ve been dreaming of.
You’re not sure who you are or what you’re supposed to be doing.
You resent all these people who never seem to truly appreciate your efforts, then you feel bad for feeling that way.
No-one seems to be around when you need help.
People don’t check in with you and ask how you are; they assume ‘you’re strong’, ‘you always just seem to cope’.
And that can lead to you feeling unloved and uncared for. And like you need to do more until someone really notices you. Because surely they will, one day, if you just keep doing.
You’re starting to feel invisible. And that scares you. Or it feels like teetering into depression.
You’re always doing busy-work instead of living.
Why Willpower Alone Won’t Change This Pattern.
Because it’s your unconscious mind that believes overgiving is a great strategy for getting you what you need.
And willpower is a conscious mind activity. That’s why it takes so much effort. All of that conscious thinking is tiring!
Your unconscious mind isn’t trying to hurt you; quite the opposite, in fact.
But somewhere back in time, when you were worried about fitting in, not being rejected, feeling out of place or overlooked, your mind went on a journey to find a way to help you fit in, get some notice, or whatever else seemed to be unavailable to you, at that time.
And the mistake unconscious mind makes, is that once it finds a strategy, it tends to automate it and never go back and revisit whether it’s still working for you.
That is where hypnosis and hypnotherapy comes in. Because there are several things we can do, depending on the way you feel drawn to work.
Either we can go back and revisit why these tendencies came into your life, what the hidden beliefs are, the childhood imprints, and then we can reframe them and give you more accurate and uplifting beliefs that will take you into a brand new future.
Or we can simply say to your unconscious mind, ‘hey, that thing you’re doing isn’t making me happy, can we do something else instead?’ And then pump you full of lovely, uplifting metaphor stories, use powerful change techniques, and simply send your unconscious mind on a mission to find better strategies that we define together at the start of your therapy journey.
We work hand-in-hand to effect change that makes perfect sense, feels safe, and installs healthy new habits and behaviours.
And, in my experience, this takes no more than 1 to 3 sessions, depending on the route we devise together.
If you’ve been finding yourself pulled to consuming subject matter with titles like:
nervous system regulation
people-pleasing recovery
self-sabotage healing
childhood trauma
parentification
burnout recovery
how to install healthy boundaries
then your mind is already making valuable connections to what’s been happening to you. And it’s ready to help.
What kind of subconscious healing do I need?
While Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is my main hypnotherapy process, that I believe is a gold standard for transformation, because I had it for myself, and loved the results so much I trained in it shortly afterwards,
investigating and resolving the past is not necessarily what everyone feels drawn to do.
Which is why I went on to train in multiple branches of hypnotic technique and conversational reframing.
What I find the most effcient practice, is to offer you a free Your Time, My Magic Call, so that we can discuss what you are experiencing.
During that conversation, your unique situation, your gut response to what you hear from me, and my keen instinct for you as a potential client,
will naturally start lending itself to one of the following healing paths:
Revisiting forgotten scenes locked in your unconscious mind, reframing them, and creating a 21-day transformational hypnois audio. (RTT)
Or we determine together that you would benefit from reprocessing specific scenes of past trauma that are still triggering you today.
Thirdly, there’s clear indication that you simply need subconscious redirection in order to achieve healthier emotional patterns in your day-to-day life.
What will the outcome of having hypnotherapy feel like?
I had the most incredible time working with Anne Marie! From the very first call to see if she could help I was instantly put at ease and knew I had to work with her! The session itself was so amazing and I felt instant shifts and healing from what I experienced there. Anne-Marie has this special gift of listening so deeply to what’s going on before the session, and with what transpires in the session, and this really shows in every aspect of working with her.
Not only did I feel deeply listened to but I was treated with such compassion, understanding and kindness.
Anne-Marie has an amazing way of explaining all the smaller details that really make such an impact to the whole experience and she really gets you to take ownership of your own transformation, I know this helped me to fully own and enjoy the experience so much - so grateful!
Since working with Anne-Marie, I really feel like I’ve made huge shifts in this subconscious belief of not being good enough, it’s just not showing up in my life anymore! How amazing! Transformational!
I would highly recommend Anne-Marie’s work to anyone who wants to change their life!
Thank you so much Anne-Marie, you are AMAZING!!!!!! Xxxx
Katie W - Google review
In a nutshell, my mission is to help overachievers, overthinkers, and the all-round good-guys, go from doubting their worth and feeling overwhelmed to embracing their unique power and setting healthy boundaries through transformative hypnotherapy and practical insights that make you feel truly seen and heard.
You can start a journey today of reclaiming your self-worth, installing healthy boundaries, putting your own needs first; guilt-free, and truly discovering who you are when you start unconsciously validating yourself instead of waiting for others.
Don’t delay, click the button
to book your call today.
There are further testimonials below from genuine clients.
What You Can Expect to Experience!
